Slow things down

Have you ever tried to argue with your significant other or your friends on chat? How many times has that ever gone well? You know the answer. Instant messaging and charged emotions don’t mix well. IM is best for short, ephemeral discussions. Long discussions on chat add little clarity to the topic at hand and they just become an ineffective version of an all day meeting. 

So the moment you see a chat conversation taking too long, slow things down.Write things up properly in a collaborative document and take things from there. And if you see an argument developing, stop right there. Take some time away from the screen, collect your thoughts and go synchronous when everyone’s calmed down. It’s easier to assume positive intent when you can see each other. Real-time video conversation can diffuse emotions much better than chat.