My relationship with writing
Summary
“Scribo ergo sum”. I write, therefore I am. Writing serves many purposes for me. In this post I write about the ways writing plays a part in my life.
As a way to structure my thoughts
A way to work effectively in distributed teams
And finally, as a means for catharsis and dealing with difficult situations
Here’s a little secret. I couldn’t write an article last week. Of course, since I’m superstitious about how the internet keeps score, I wrote a backdated post anyway. Over the last few years, I’ve never missed my weekly posts, except when I was out sick, in the hospital or when I’ve been out in the sticks. Last week, too, I had an excellent excuse to skip my weekly article since I was out trying to find the ghosts of our grasslands - Indian grey wolves. The outing was well worth it since I had one of my best encounters with these predators as they played with each other and stalked the grasslands in overcast conditions.
I didn't write last week, because I was out with these fellas
But you know what? I’m at a point where writing is a part of who I am. So, each time I skip writing, it feels like giving up something important. I wasn’t always this way, though. Like most people, I’d find writing a chore. Over the years, I’ve come to see the value it brings me. So today, let me tell you a bit about my relationship with writing.
A tool to unpack my thoughts
Has there ever been a time when you wanted to express something, and you were overly verbose about it? A time when you regurgitated a stream of consciousness instead of articulating an idea with structure? A time when you wished you could explain something simply instead of confusing others?
I’ve been there too many times for my liking. As a teenager, I had a stammering problem. I learned pretty late in life that I’m also neurodivergent. All this meant that my mind was often too fast for my mouth. I became incoherent when I left my speech at the mercy of my most immediate thoughts. I had to train myself to be a half-decent communicator. Maybe a passable presenter, too.
So, in 2007, I first read Gary Reynolds’ book Presentation Zen. A few years later, I followed it up by reading books like “The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs” and “Resonate”. If you’ve read any of these books, you’ll know that Steve Jobs is a recurring protagonist in each of them. I loved his relaxed, affable presentation style. During those years, even after he died in 2011, I watched video after video of his product launches. Audiences would perk up when Jobs would start his presentation, saying, “I’ve got three things I want to talk to you about today.” and hold their breath until he predictably paused before the ending, saying, “Oh, and one more thing”.
A Steve Jobs case study from Nancy Duarte's book, Resonate
Ace communicators like Jobs make it seem like they’re talking to you but behind that relaxed facade lie hours of preparation. From MLK’s “I have a dream” to Obama’s “Yes, we can” and from Greta’s “How dare you!” to Ken Robinson’s “Do schools kill creativity?”, every stirring speech is a product of excellent writing. Legend has it that Jobs would begin preparing for his keynotes up to a month in advance. Indeed, I could spend some time thinking through what I wanted to say! Writing became a way for me to slow down and structure what I wanted to say to others during a presentation.
If I could give you one piece of first-hand advice to be an effective presenter, I’d say this.
Write what you want to say.
It’s a remarkably effective technique with many benefits.
Writing is fast and flexible. You can cut, paste and reorganise your thoughts. One step at a time to “Jobsian simplicity”.
You get to pre-screen the language you’ll use. Too wordy? Prune it down. Too much jargon? Think of an alternative. Doesn’t roll off your tongue easily? Consider an alternative.
It’s easy to estimate how long you’ll take to convey your idea. Most people can speak at a maximum speed of 150 words per minute. If you pause for audience input or being conversational, you could be down to anything between 110 and 80 words per minute. Dividing your word count by 100 can give you a realistic estimate of how many minutes your speech could take.
Over the years, writing has become such an integral part of how I think and structure my thoughts that I use it as an everyday tool beyond just presentations. For someone like me, whose thoughts meander all the time, it’s quite a superpower!
A way to transcend time and space
When you work in an office, there are many visual signals between you and your coworkers. You talk to each other during lunch, coffee breaks, and at the work table. While work itself may not be as productive as when you’re remote, and work-life balance and inclusion suffer in this mode, there are fewer interpersonal communication gaps with office work.
When working remotely, you mediate these interactions through screens and calendars. Compare working alongside your boss throughout the week and then meeting them one-on-one to the remote work alternative of only meeting them one-on-one. Even if you organise two one-on-one meetings each week, it’s not the same as the office alternative.
However, remote work brings many advantages for employers and employees. We can’t wish it away. So, how do you get around the communication gap? Well, through asynchronous communication! It’s hard to squeeze a week’s worth of communication into one or two meetings. But if you can communicate in writing and your boss can consume it at their pace, you now have a way to transcend time and location boundaries.
You needn’t limit the pattern of write-first-talk-next only to your interactions with your boss or direct reports. Even when communicating with your peers, writing things down allows you to you use your synchronous time effectively. They get to slow down and understand what you’re communicating. You’re not under pressure to say everything you want to say in 30 minutes! Everyone wins.
A means for catharsis
Last but not least, writing has become a tool for me to express my frustrations. Work occupies a third of our lives. There’s only so much you can emotionally detach yourself from your job. You need a way to vent your emotions. Let me tell you a story to make my point.
Many years back, I worked for a rather difficult boss. The team environment was toxic because the boss controlled the team with an iron fist. Things got so bad that I dreaded every interaction with this person, one-on-one or in a team setting. Before long, the boss’s behaviour started affecting my mental health. If I ended my day with an unpleasant or stressful interaction with them, I’d toss and turn in bed all night. That time of my career was a veritable nightmare. This experience wasn’t something I was comfortable talking to my friends or family about. There were times I didn’t even know what in particular was bothering me. But I did need an outlet.
At some point during this ordeal, I started writing about how I felt. If I couldn’t sleep, I’d wake up and write until I’d committed my emotions to black and white. I did the same when I was confused. Before long, I had a journal of all my interactions with my boss and how I felt after each one. I could reflect on each interaction and ask myself if my reactions were natural or biased. The paper doesn’t judge you. You can write however you’re feeling, and it’ll absorb all your emotions. Your mileage might vary, but I got a lot out of this exercise, something I continue even today.
And if you’re curious, that writing didn’t go to waste. When my boss left the company, I gathered the courage to speak to my “super boss” about my experiences and feedback about how they could have been more vigilant. Imagine yourself in my position, though. After all those nightmarish months, I could have been somewhat incoherent when explaining how I felt and what I expected this senior leader to have done. Thankfully, my journal gave me a structure for the key topics I wanted to discuss with the super boss. They were also gracious enough to acknowledge my feedback. A few days later, I cleaned up my notes and sent them to my super boss. It wasn’t much effort, leading to a few changes in the management setup.
Even today, each time I feel stressed, I write. I write until I understand my emotions and if I can justify them. Sometimes, it’s a tool to introspect. Other times, it’s a coping mechanism. Either way, it helps my mental health.
A few weeks from today, I’ll take another break from writing as I head off for my annual African adventure. We’ll spend three weeks in Botswana’s wilderness this time — more about that in the video below.
I refuse to write during this time because I want to avoid the internet as much as possible. My wife, a.k.a my best friend, and my other best friend will be with me on the trip, so why distract myself? Will I miss writing during that time? For sure! When I’m back, though, I expect to be back with renewed energy—not for the internet, not for a personal brand, not even because I want to make a dent in the universe. It’ll be because of my relationship with writing.